No Excuse for Abuse

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello, everyone. I'm Iris Douglas, and joining me is my co host, Yvette o'. Sullivan. Morning. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Good morning, everyone. I hope you guys are having a wonderful day today. Very excited that this is our third episode. I can't believe that when we first started planning this, that it really came to life. [00:00:18] Speaker A: Well, that's what manifestation is all about. We planting the seeds, especially when women do it. [00:00:23] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:00:24] Speaker A: So here we go, girl. [00:00:27] Speaker B: You're listening to the vital women of Washington Height. [00:00:37] Speaker A: So this. This episode is about no Excuse for Abuse. [00:00:41] Speaker B: No Excuse for Abuse is a big topic. [00:00:44] Speaker A: Our purpose here for Yvette and I is to work with the community to see how we can help them figure out what they need in order to succeed on how to feel better. MHA is a big part of that, which is Mental Health America of Dutchess County. Our sponsor here is Andrew o', Grad, and he's the CEO and he believes in this podcast. Happy we're working with him because we're definitely on the same page when it comes to mental illnesses and how we can work together to make our community better. So, Yvette, please talk to me. Talk to us. Why we're talking about no Excuse for Abuse. [00:01:21] Speaker B: Well, first of all, I want to start out by saying that February is coming to an end. This is the last week of February. And when I looked into the month, I realized that February is a Latin word. The origin comes from a Latin word named February. So when you look into that, the meaning is purification. And it really hit me, and I'm like, purification. Let me sit with this for a minute. And in sitting with gives us an opportunity to look how we want to purify ourselves, how we need to let go of the past and look forward to the future. And what's coming ahead is springtime. And springtime brings a lot of life. But before enjoying that life, we need to let go of our past. And on February 16, I had the opportunity to attend this event hosted by Jewish Family Service, and the topic was no Excuse for Abuse. What an interesting evening that turned out to be. What an emotional evening. And I reached out to you and I said, you know, Iris, we need to unpack this more. We need to talk to the community about what this means to us as women. And here we are. [00:02:53] Speaker A: Absolutely. Well, this means as women is that we really have to not. Not accept that we could. There's no excuse for abuse 2025. Unfortunately, these things are still going on there. You know, this is scary times too, with. With everything that's going on in Our universe, you know, there's a lot of people that are experiencing a lot of mental illnesses and, you know, mental health is up in the rise and it's a big problem. I'm glad you attended that event because that gives us ideas to open up and talk about, you know, especially women, because we are definitely getting verbally or mentally abused here, there, or everywhere at some point in our life. [00:03:39] Speaker B: Well, I'm, I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to attend the 21st annual no Excuse for Abuse. And the guest that was featured that day, her name is Ali Raisman. And I don't know if people recognize that name, but Ali Raisman is a gold medal. And I'm going to look at her bio here. She's a gold medal winning gymnast and she was the speaker of that evening. She was the captain of the U.S. women's gymnastics team in 2012 and in 2016 and is the third most decorated gymnast in the U.S. she represents the Jewish community. She is very well loved in the Jewish community and is famous for her gold medal winning floor routine, Hava Neela. And Raisman is not only a successful gymnast, but she is also a survivor, a survivor of sexual abuse. And she spoke about that. And what a touching, touching interview she gave that evening. And now she's actively supports mental health, body positivity and self care. And we have talked about self care and everything just aligned so nicely when I attended that Sunday evening event. And her experience are detailed in her popular memoir, Fierce, which I recommend everybody reads about it. And she also wrote a children's book, and the title of the children's book is From My Head to My Toes, which focus on what is consent and also body anatomy. [00:05:22] Speaker A: Listen, you, you bring up big points because first of all, she's an Olympian. She's a strong feminine energy representing women, you know, as an Olympian. And she unfortunately had to experience abuse. So how can we stop this? Even it happens at a, at a higher end level in society and community. How can we stop? Imagine the lower end. How can we prevent this from people not being abused? [00:05:56] Speaker B: Well, we're definitely going to unpack that. And, and this is great because. [00:06:03] Speaker A: The. [00:06:03] Speaker B: MeToo movement is going to have an anniversary and it's in October, October 15th. And although the movement gained a lot of global knowledge or was recognized back in 2017, it first started in 20, in 2006. And I am so glad that women felt comfortable to come out and see speak about their experience because that's a way of stopping it. The more women that speak about abuse, we can stop it from happening not just to women, but it also happens to men as well. And having a 8 year old grandson, I believe it's important for grandmothers and mothers to talk to their grandchildren and not only their granddaughters, but also their male grandchildren of abuse. [00:07:02] Speaker A: Sister, I don't, I don't want to bring out too much groom a gloom in our podcast, but unfortunately, you know, it starts in a household sometimes when there is some mental abuse and you have perhaps an uncle or stepfather who there's a little boy and you know, stuff happens. You know, you're right. You can't just talking to the little girls. The little boys are, can be victims as well, you know. So it's important that we talk to both feminine and masculine energies. [00:07:34] Speaker B: You know, go ahead. It's important for everyone to gain a better understanding of these urgent social issues that are taking place in society. Because just like you mentioned, sometimes it's the closest people to us that abused us. It's not so much stranger danger. Yes, it's important for children to be aware stranger danger. But it's important for children to grow up with the notion that it could be a close family member as well. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Absolutely. I have my crystals here because it's a, it's a, it's a calming way of me to talk about things that trigger emotionally in my personal experiences with abuse. We have to listen to our children. Are you okay? Did anyone touch you? Ask these questions also because mothers, there's an energy that mothers feel when they feel like their children are not being treated right or something's going wrong, you know, so mothers listen to that energy. Don't dismiss it because sometimes you say that can't happen. Something's talking to you. Follow your intuitive side also, you know, follow your, your spirit. You know, how, when, who, why. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Latina, you know, especially in the Latin community, getting entre la familia, you know, especially in the Latin community that sometimes they don't want to understand and realize that something like this is happening within the family unit. It's important for them to be aware that it can happen. Es muy importante que recono can que suna cosa que puede pasar. [00:09:31] Speaker A: Absolutely, absolutely. And, and trust me, it can, you don't expect it. But when you, if you feel something is not right, please act up on it. Because there were so many things that I missed in my personal experience in my family that I should have paid attention to because it's important. And, and getting back to the Olympian, you know, I'm so happy that she's talking about it because. Because she's an Olympian, because she's, you know, representing the better version of all of us. Because she's strong, beautiful, smart and brave, you know, and she still had to go through these experience is telling you anyone, it can happen to anyone, you know. [00:10:15] Speaker B: And not only she was the keynote speaker, but along the panel, there were other women that also spoke about their views and their experience. And they discuss not just domestic violence, but the mental health support that they received after experiencing the abuse. And they also brought a point about how they were struggling so much that a couple of the ladies that were on the panel also thought about suicide. So during the event presentation, suicide awareness was brought up. And that leads me to bring this point out that we as vital women, we want to raise awareness in our community not just about domestic violence, but also other type of violence that can encompass the domestic violence as well. And I want to talk about or read about the meaning of what domestic violence is. And I'm going to look at my notes. And according to the National Institute of Health, domestic violence is a harmful behavior in a relationship where one partner tries to overpower, control the other. It appears in various ways, such as physical, sexual, emotional, financial, which a lot of people don't think that there is also financial abuse, psychological or digital abuse. You know, these behaviors may include threats or controlling actions that impact other people. It involves an action that imitates, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, force, threaten, blame, harm, or injure someone that the abuser is trying to manipulate and control. [00:12:31] Speaker A: Girl, that is a big conversation because that's happening now. That is happening now. There's an organization called Opez Day that they literally manipulate poor families into giving up their daughters to go to go into an organization that TLCs them from, for at least two or three years, programs them, gives them loving and careful, and then slowly start changing the vibes to manipulation and control because they're so grateful that they had this throughout the years with them. Now they're told, trusting of this organization, that how can they possibly put them in harm's way and not be safe? So now they get them into a point where now they're controlling them, manipulating them, how they assign then mentors, women, mentors for these females as mothers because their mothers are not there feeding them all of this love and care. And then eventually, until you're not going to be able to do that, or when they get their hopes up too high, or maybe when I get out of here, oh, you're not going to do that. You're not capable of that. You have to serve the Lord. You have to serve God. It's spiritual abuse and manipulation. And that is scary. That is so scary. I feel it. Because they feed them all this. They do this and then they control them. Where these girls start committing, you said it earlier, suicide. They start committing suicide because they're under their control. They have no identity. A few girls got out in the documentary. I'll share the documentary before, you know, I, before we end this episode. A few girls managed to leave the organization. When they left the organization, Yvette, and they had no identity. They had to start from scratch. They had no money. They ran away because they couldn't take it anymore. Because these girls had to literally sleep, pray and serve men all day. They were married to this organization. [00:14:41] Speaker B: But you brought up a good point. A lot of the times the abuser is not just men. Sometimes the abuser can be female. It can be a woman. And I believe that's a misconception, that when people talk about domestic violence or sexual abuse, right away they're thinking, oh, it's done by a man. It can be done by a woman as well. And women are not the primary victims. There are men being victimized by women as well in terms of physical abuse, because women can also be violent and women can bring out that type of energy and physically abuse a man. It's not spoken so much about, but I wanted to bring that to the audience attention. Of course, our show is about women and we are here for women. But we cannot leave out that piece of information. [00:15:51] Speaker A: No, we can't leave that piece out of. We can. And, and I want to share that. It's, it's a healing process for those women. Those women are being triggered too. And they, they act violently because maybe that's all they know. They're fending and defending themselves and they, they shield themselves and they become these medusas, you know, they become these angry women. They are constantly abusing the masculine energy, which are men or if not, if they're in, in the relationship. If a woman is in a relationship with another woman, you know, that, that's a biggie too. So it's the energy of defense, of rage, of non trusting that these women are culturing in their minds and they're not able to move forward in a more humble way. You know what I'm saying? And they're mean because they're trying to protect themselves. It's not that I don't think they necessarily Want to be mean. They didn't start being mean. I think they're just trying to protect themselves. But that's not the way to do it. You gotta let that go. [00:16:59] Speaker B: That's a, that's a great point because nobody starts out as an abusive. [00:17:04] Speaker A: There you go. [00:17:05] Speaker B: Factors that create a person to become an abuser, whether it was that they had a negative sexual experience as a child and perhaps they didn't go through the proper treatment and now as adult they are abusing other people sexually or they experience physical violence and didn't receive the proper therapy or treatment to deal with how they witnessed the physical violence, violence. And now they are, you know, displaying that type of behavior to someone else close to them, a loved one. But I, I wanted to clarify also the meaning of how domestic violence can impact anyone. And it's, you know, no matter a person's age, race, gender or sexual orientation, financial status or education, many people mistakenly believe, as you address and I address, that men are the only abusers, women can be as well. And violence can occur at any stage in a person's life. It's not just low income people that experience, experience violence. There's also, you know, people of wealth that also experience violence. So I didn't want to leave out that information because anyone can experience domestic violence or sexual violence. [00:18:37] Speaker A: No, and I appreciate you reiterating that because that's also important because with my experiences, and I only talk from my experiences, guys, because, you know, I've lived a little, I've experienced a little and I've, you know, I've been in situations where I've been verbally and mentally abused in business, in corporations. I worked on Madison Avenue, I worked in Rockefeller Center. You know, I've had these experience where I was being manipulated because, because I'm Latina, you know, whatever. It's, you know, it is what it is. I mean, I appreciate all my experiences, to be honest with you. But I did experience, experienced something, something that I had to say, stop, say no to me, say no to them and say yes to me. So that's another thing that people have to understand. You have to self love yourself so these things won't happen to you. And it goes through all the stages of your life. Every stage of your life is a different stage of your life. I started in Washington Heights and I'm in Dutchess county now. You started at Washington Heights and you're, you know, part time here, part time in, in Florida. So it's like we have to, we go through different stages in our lives and we also have these. A constant abuse in our life because. Just because I worked at, at corporate didn't mean when I came down to Duchess, I didn't have some kind of abuse where I started. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to go too far with it, but every stage of your life and every chapter of your life, you're going to experience some kind of abuse where you have to say, stop, no, this is going to, this is the end. [00:20:13] Speaker B: No excuse for abuse. [00:20:15] Speaker A: No excuse for abuse for yourself. Not necessarily in the whole generalized. Yes, no, there's no excuse for abuse, but there's no excuse for abuse. You have to. That's your mantra. No one can abuse you. There's no excuse for it. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, the sick code that you may be born in or the country that you may be born in does not define you because. All right, just like you said, there's so many different stages in life and we have that growth period and we also may have a period in life where we are stagnant and we're not growing. But there's always change happening. And when that change is happening, sometimes you're able to see, sometimes you're not able to see it. So for someone to think that just because you were born in a specific zip code and that you're always going to stay in that area, I, I think it's silly for people to define you as one person or one area. And sometimes people need to feel that control and in being that passive aggressive and bringing out that passive aggressive nature is because they want to keep you in that particular place, they want to keep you, perhaps if they know where you come from, they want to keep you there and not allow the person to grow, not allow the person to embrace who they are. Totally. And that is a form of abuse. That is emotional abuse. That is mental abuse. When somebody wants to keep you from growing out of fear, whatever fear they may have, and they may see you as somebody having potential, they may feel threatened. [00:22:16] Speaker A: Girl. Yes. When they see that you're a doer, when they see that you're a doer, that you have dreams and you have this and you have that, there's some people that they're like, that's not going to happen. And then that the, the abuse starts coming in there, you know, when you start sharing too much. So when they're, you're going through different stages of your life and you're growing, you're going to meet a lot of people that you have to practice Practice also discernment. [00:22:47] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. [00:22:48] Speaker A: Have to practice discernment because that's important. Because you need to know who's going to be with you and who's not. Who's gonna be on, who's gonna be vibing with you and who's not gonna be vibing. Because if you start vibing with people that do not have the same mindset, you open yourself up for opportunities to be verbally or mentally abused some way. Seriously, you have to protect for me, you know, I speak in a spiritual way, guys. So you have to protect your erotic feel. When you walk into a space, when you walk into an opportunity, when you walk into a, a venue. Take a deep breath and protect yourself. Because they're going to be people, they're going to see your shining light and they're not going to feel it and they're going to want to throw shade at you. And this is where you need to say no. Protect love, love and life for you. Always keep that connection of love and light. Don't be hating on people to be hating on you. That doesn't work either. Two wrongs do not make a right. [00:23:43] Speaker B: No. And you brought that point because forgiveness, forgiveness is very important. But forgiveness is not so much for the person that has abused you or manipulated you, is for yourself. Because when you hold on to that negative energy, when you hold on to that anger, that is not going to do you any good. That starts to affect your health, your physical health, your emotional health, your mental health. Therefore you need to practice for forgiveness. But it's more for yourself. [00:24:18] Speaker A: Absolutely. You need to practice self care and self forgiveness because you gotta move, you gotta go move, move onward. You know, we're here to create beautiful, beautiful, wonderful life. Working together like this, finding your community, finding people that really, really care and you won't experience and you're protecting yourself from, from those abuses you're protecting because there's. Listen, if you constantly get abused and this is just me, this is how my energy works, Things start coming in if you put yourself in for these abuses. You go to sleep at night, you can't sleep because you're thinking about how why didn't I say something? Why didn't I stand up for myself? That's another thing that I wanted to say. You gotta stand up for yourself and then you won't put yourself in an abusive situation. That's more importante that because when people start saying you can't sleep, Mira, I used to say yes, yes, yes to everything. And people used to abuse me and say whatever and then I used to say, why did I let her say that to me? Why did I let him do that to me? Why? And then I couldn't sleep. And then he used to give me triggers and become a problem for me emotionally. So the more you stand up for yourself and the more you say yes for you and no for others, you will be preventing this abuse? [00:25:35] Speaker B: Yes. And sometimes, you know when it's happening, we don't process it at that moment, because sometimes you stand back and you're like, you freeze. And you start thinking, is this really happening? Then when you walk away, then you realize, wait, they came at me at a certain way that I felt I wasn't treated with respect, I wasn't treated correctly. She, he or she said something that I feel emotionally abused, that I feel manipulated. And you need that time to process. And next time when you see that person, just like you said, it's time to set those boundaries and start setting those boundaries. It's a good way to create that shield that's going to protect you. [00:26:27] Speaker A: Yep. [00:26:27] Speaker B: And that abuse can happen, whether it is in the professional world, in. In a personal setting. It may start when you are a child within the home, but having that awareness to decipher what is happening may not take place right away. And that's. [00:26:50] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:50] Speaker B: Processing that also takes time. And how are you going to address that? You know, we spoke about that. What can you do to prevent this from happening? And that was a question you asked in the beginning. So what kind of suggestions you have to give to women also to prepare their children, whether it is a little girl or a little boy, or if you have a granddaughter or a grandson, son. What do you think can be done in order to create that stronger person so that they have that knowledge, they have that awareness of setting those boundaries? [00:27:31] Speaker A: Thank you for asking me that question. I have two daughters and I have two grandsons and one granddaughter. Now, that's five months. And that's exactly why I say to my daughter, you need to learn how to protect yourself with this. What meditation has helped me, I'm going to go through back to my healing process, because through my healing processes, where I became aware where I needed to stand up for myself and not. And say no to abuse. Meditation. Meditation helped me a lot, a lot of prayer. I believe Jesus, you know, I'm a Catholic, so I believe that God is always guiding me to go the right direction in order for me to. To grow. So whatever happens my way, I have to believe that this is something that I have to do or have to process to grow spiritually. But meditation has helped me through that because if you're not in a, if I live in a meditative space. So if you're not in a meditative space or if you don't have faith in God, you can find yourself where people can abuse you very easily. Getting in your head. And you don't want someone to get your head where they're whispering constantly. You're a failure. You're a failure. A failure. No, you don't want to hang out with. That's another thing. You, if you don't want that, then don't hang out with people like that. You have to hang out with people with the same mindset that are going to encourage you with the right words constantly. When I talk to my grandsons, I say, don't fight in school. Please, please be good boys. Because if you're good boys, let me tell you things. Good things are going to come to you. If you do the right things, good things are going to come to you. But if you're in a hot mess, bad things, that's when abuse, open to abuse, and you're open to bad situations. So it's important that you have faith. You believe in God or whatever it is that you, you know, that is your, your, your. That's in your heart. And, and, and, and you move forward knowing that you do have the control of other people not abusing you. That's another thing. You have that control of people not abusing you. So that's my thing, is that you're in control of what happens to you. Just be mindful of the people that you hang out with and listen to the people the way they speak to you because they're telling you whether they're on your side or not, just by the way they speak to you. They could be passive aggressive. You said it earlier. People come in nice ways and then they give you boom right in the middle of those conversations and you're like, oh, you just hit me with something. You're very passive aggressive, you know, so people can't really play that with me right now, but that's because I meditated. When you meditate, guys, you learn how to play that chess game, how to make those moves in order for you to stay alive and get your goals done. That's all I have to say. There's no excuse for abuse. We're here to love each other and help each other grow. [00:30:24] Speaker B: Absolutely. So it's constant communication, constant education, educating our children, educating our loved ones of the different forms of Manipulation to how people can use certain words to hold you down. Like you said, always mentioning whether you, you're not good enough, you, you know, you can do this. And no matter what you do, you're looking for accolades and saying, you know, you just want recognition. But taking that recognition away from you to try to bring you to a certain level in life where you start thinking, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy of, of success, I'm not worthy of love. That mental manipulation sometimes. And a woman at the event brought this point up. When she was married. The husband constantly kept talking down to her that she felt that she wasn't worthy of anything in life. And finally when he took off and left her alone, her self esteem was so low and her self confidence that it took many years for her to realize, I am worthy. I am a smart, intelligent woman. And she allowed for her husband to take that away from her, take away that joy. As you know, I. I am a follower of Jesus and I'm a Christian. And one of the things that I certainly believe is God gives us certain skills in life, certain joy. And not allowing anybody to take that joy away from you or take away this beautiful creation that he made us to be in, in his image. It's. It's giving power to that person and the only person that has power to take away from us. It's, it's God. It's, we need to be strong and not allow someone to take that joy away from us and not take away that power. And it's protecting ourselves like you said, and finding those tools of how to protect ourselves. [00:32:43] Speaker A: I just want to mention something that I wanted to mention earlier and I forgot because when I see you and I get passionate, I sometimes I forget what. I want to talk to you, but I want to reiterate on some. I want to talk about something. When I was in the seventh grade, I wrote an essay and I said it out loud. I wanted to be a flight attendant because I wanted to visit the world. I wanted to explore the world. And my seventh grade teacher said to me, you want to be a slave in the sky? And he. Everybody laughed. Every single kid in that classroom laughed. I mean, anyhow, basically dreams. That was a dream of mine. To fly, to explore. To explore the world, to see what's going on out there. Because I lived in Washington Heights, I was watching Novel Hours all the time with my mom. I knew there was a better. I knew there was a life out there, a world out there, and I wanted to explore. And because that person that teacher, my seventh grade teacher, who I thought was responsible, who was responsible, was not. He knocked my dream down. I was like, okay, you're like, I'm in seventh grade. This is something that I wanted to do. Wanted to study airplanes, you know, wanted to kind of just maybe would have been a pilot. Doesn't matter. The point is he, he kind of cut my dream off just by saying those words. And then everybody laughed and then it triggered my emotions. Absolutely crazy. [00:34:07] Speaker B: That's the way of shutting you down right away and saying, don't express your dreams, don't express any ideas. And junior high school students are in a very vulnerable stage in their life because that's when this personality is starting to form and they're fighting with, you know, being a child and kind of starting to be adult. Like. So for somebody to say something like that to you, it's already denying the opportunity of growth. [00:34:40] Speaker A: Yep, that's exactly how I felt. [00:34:43] Speaker B: Yes. And growing up in Washington Heights and being Latina and for somebody to that we consider to be authority at that time, to say something to you already sets the stage for that opportunity for you not to grow to be the adult that you wanted to be. [00:35:06] Speaker A: 100%, sis. 100%. That's why teachers have to be in a very well balanced way. Because these kids look up to these teachers. Like my daughter's a teacher and I always say to her, you have to, have to be good when you get into that classroom. You can't, you know, you have to be, you have to be aware of what their needs are. You have to be a good teacher. She's a good teacher because of that, because she pays attention, she's mindful to what their needs. Not every kid has the same energy and has the same need. You know, you got kids that are really smart, but they, they need that attention. So you have to work with those kids. You got those kids who are really shy, but they're really smart and they don't want to speak up. You have to work with those kids. She works with special needs, so it's even more challenging because she works with children that are violent. So, you know, thank God she's got a Reiki mom. Just saying. Because it helps her help that child. Because if she learns how to deal with the situation with a kid who's violent, then she calming her nervous system helps him. It all, it's all about, you know, connection too. [00:36:14] Speaker B: That's a great point. Because parents need to be aware and attend those parent teacher conferences to know what is happening in the School and not just leave it to the school environment to give ideas to their children or to create that foundation or that strong foundation that children need to grow up. Parents have to stay involved, to be aware of what their children are hearing and experiencing in the school environment. [00:36:48] Speaker A: But you know what? I see sometimes, and I feel that sometimes these teachers, because I'm involved with the Poughkeepsie schools, I go and I help with the interpretations when there's report cards that, you know, they want to help. But there's very limited resources, you know what I'm saying? Because of the communication with the Latinos. That's a different. That would be a different podcast. But, you know, that's something that's dear to my heart, that I really want to. Because that also opens yourself up to abuse. Because you have these teachers, too, that. That care. But then you have to move it along. Move it along. I gotta go. Because they're frustrated with the system. You know, they're frustrated with the system. So I can understand why they can't take that time to really say, oh, I really need to see what this kid really needs, or, how can I communicate better with this mom? You know, it's challenging because they don't have the time and they don't have the resources and the system, of course. And there, listen. [00:37:48] Speaker B: Another form of abuse, you know, the system allowing the system to dictate exactly what your needs are. Because, you know, what this podcast is doing and bringing to attention is that abuse comes in so many different ways. [00:38:05] Speaker A: Yep. And we have to really listen. Women are very intuitive. We are. We are gifted with the. With the gift of intuition that God's given us right here. See what you need to see in order for you to succeed. So we have that ability to really focus. But that's when there's. That there won't be abuse. If you feel. If you're good inside, if you're practicing, if you're doing your prayers, if you're doing your meditation, then all of this just doesn't happen. And if it does happen, at least you're there to support it, to support in a positive way. [00:38:41] Speaker B: The stronger a person feels, the less abuse they're going to experience. The more awareness you're going to have when somebody is trying to use different tactics to manipulate you emotionally, mentally. You know, physical abuse may show up bruises, but I believe the worst abuse is that mental, emotional abuse, because it takes longer for you to heal from that. Because once your memory captures how someone spoke to you in many negative ways, it takes many years to build yourself up and to create that strength that you need to believe in yourself and to feel confident again of the person that you are. [00:39:32] Speaker A: Right, exactly. Because words do hurt. They do hurt. They do hurt because they stay in your. They stay in your system. They stay in your memory bank. Your body remembers. Your body remembers how you felt when you felt that. Because I remember a lot of negative energy that made me feel that triggers me sometimes, and I'm like, no, let it go. I grab a crystal and I say a prayer and it goes away. But yes, there's so many. Because the body remembers how you felt when you were hurt. [00:39:59] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:40:00] Speaker A: That makes sense. And if. That's a biggie, guys, because you know what happens if you don't release that pain? You start gaining weight, you start getting. Creating disease. I don't want to get too yogi on y', all, but that's what happens if you don't release. If you don't release all this negative energy. People hurt. You take a deep breath in. It's okay. Send them love and light. It's not real. It's not you. It doesn't belong to you. It belongs to them. That's how they're feeling. I don't want to get into, but that's how they're feeling. Anyone that's abusing you is because they probably have been abused and they're reflecting it on you. That's another. That's another. That's another way. [00:40:40] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:40:40] Speaker A: That's what happens. [00:40:41] Speaker B: I read. I read material from Joyce Meyers, and one of the things that she says, and she wrote a book on this, hurt people. Hurt other people. And when somebody is hurting inside, they don't know how to love other people because they're so full of negative energy, they're so full of anger that that's what they're going to put out out there. They're gonna hurt people. So I. I want to read this scripture because this scripture really helped me a lot when I was struggling to, you know, I was struggling through something four years ago, and I constantly kept reading the Scripture and finally I was able to unpack it and realize exactly what God was saying to me. So the phrase is fearfully and wonderfully made. It's found in Psalms 139, 14. And the complete verse says, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And this was David talking to. To the Lord, and it says, your works are wonderful. My soul knows this very well. And what does this mean? What is God saying to me when the scripture came to mind, and I kept going, going back to it in the Bible and looking for it is, I am beautiful. I am strong. I am confident. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am unique. And, you know, he made billions of people. And we all are different. And you and I constantly say this. You know, we are aligned because we are different and we bring different energy to the show. And when we get together and we share and we talk about the show and what topics we're going to discuss, it really works well because we recognize that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that we are unique. And God created us as strong women to be here and bring this awareness because we are fearfully and wonderfully made by him. [00:43:06] Speaker A: Exactly. That's right. And we're women. I just, I. You know, I'm with women. Listen, you and I had many. We've had experiences, very similar experiences. And that's what. That's what my heart is so, like, you're so in my heart. Because we were raised in the same kind of the same energy. We were raised in the same garden. Yes, we were raised in the same garden because Washington Heights was a garden. Like I said in one of the episodes, it was a lot of different people, a lot of different things going on. So just coming here now that, yeah, we are grateful. I am grateful to be here because we've had that experience, but now we're here to share with you because we're strong. Women are strong. And we call ourselves vital women from Washington Heights because, oh, we came from, like. But we came from beauty as well. So it's like, we just want to share. And I love El Salmo. You know, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Yes. Like I said, we're beautiful and wonderful. We're supposed to have fun and we're supposed to help each other out. We're not supposed to be mean to each other. [00:44:20] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:44:21] Speaker A: So that's no excuse for abuse. [00:44:22] Speaker B: No excuse for abuse. [00:44:24] Speaker A: There we go. [00:44:25] Speaker B: And whether it is, you know, being kind to other females, being kind to everyone that we come across, whether they're young, whether they're old, whether they have status, whether they don't have status, whether they're educated or not, these are all human beings that God created, and we all are fearfully and wonderfully made. [00:44:47] Speaker A: We definitely are. We definitely are. So we welcome and community. Please let us know what. What other subjects. What is it that you want us to bring out? Because maybe you don't have the platform to do It. We do. So let us know. Right, Evie? You know, let us know if you want us to. If you want to share something with us. And, you know, we'll be. We'll do our due diligence to look at the comments and make sure that we get back to you or whatever, but we're here to help. You know, Evie is a beautiful, wonderful. She calms me down. Evie's this beautiful soul that, you know, that I'm very grateful for. And she's got a lot of superpowers when it comes to, like, talking to women in their menopausal stages, different stages. You know, we also have a wellness center in Poughkeepsie that if you guys ever need that, you know, that support of awareness or you feel like you're being abused and you just want to have a conversation, you could stop by, you know, just look us up. We want to be here. And we have Andrew o', Grady, you know, who's also a big advocate of making our community better, especially Dutchess County. You know, we want our people that live in Dutchess county to be mentally and healthy and happy. You know, we. We don't want them to be all over the place and trying to figure life out. So let us know what you want from us, and then we'll figure it out. What's our next conversation, by the way? Next comes out with these. [00:46:16] Speaker B: March. And in March is International Women's Day. The whole month is dedicated to international women, and not only international women, but recognizing how powerful women have been history. And being that we are Dominican, Quezomo Dominicanas. Vamos avlar. And who were the Mirabales? They are recognized as the Butterfly sisters that endured a lot of abuse during that time in Dominican Republic by our dictator president at the time in the 60s. And we're going to be talking about that whole experience. Experience that they had through our life and what wonderful fighters they became in order for women in general to have certain freedoms today as well. So we're gonna recognize International Women's Day. [00:47:21] Speaker A: I love that. I love that. Excited about that. [00:47:24] Speaker B: So I think we're coming to the conclusion of our episode, our third episode. How exciting. I know we were nervous about it because it kind of hit us this morning when we got together that, wow, this is our third episode. And like I mentioned earlier, we didn't think that we would get so far. And again, Iris, I am so grateful that you are in my life and that we are doing this. Thank you. Thank you so much. [00:47:54] Speaker A: Thank you. So I just want to share How? It was crazy. You know, I heard Evie on the radio. You know, I was driving. It was a Sunday morning, and I hear Evie on the radio, and she's talking about menopause. And I'm like, yeah, girl. Yeah, girl. I'm her cheerleader driving. And I get a text, and I get happy. I'm very passionate about this conversation. And I get a message from her, I want to talk to you. I'm like, girl, were you on the radio this way? She says, yeah, that was me. Synchronicity at its best. [00:48:24] Speaker B: Yes, yes, absolutely. [00:48:26] Speaker A: Synchronicity at its best. We were supposed to do this. We were supposed to do this is so important that we keep ourselves really happy, healthy, and holy inside and that we don't hold these negative emotions and that we don't, you know, we don't sway, you know, the wrong way, and we want to keep our center because, you know, prayer. Prayer helps me. Guys. I just want to share that prayer when you. Especially these days, you know, energetically. There's a lot going on in our solar system. Maybe we'll have an episode about that. I would love to talk dabble on the planets and stuff like that, but the planets are aligned, so there's a lot of energy, and it's falling. So you have to be calm, cool, and collective. So please pray that God gives you that balance, because we need to balance ourselves out so we can make better choices, and we won't be open to abuse. So I just wanted to say that I wanted to thank Andrew o' Grady again for this opportunity. [00:49:24] Speaker B: There's lots of awareness out there that we are trying to communicate to our audience. And again, please keep in mind, no excuse for abuse. Love you. [00:49:36] Speaker A: God bless you all. Until the next one. Take care.