Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This podcast is brought to you by MHA of Dutchess county and produced by CMJW Entertainment.
This episode of the Vital Women of Washington Heights is proudly sponsored by Levia Med Spa.
[00:00:12] Speaker B: Happy New Year to the Vital Women listeners. I want to take this time to make an announcement that Iris Douglas has decided to move on to new projects for 2026. I want to take the time to let her know how much we appreciated her time and working with the Vital Women and wish her well in her new endeavors.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: You're listening to the Vital Women podcast.
[00:00:44] Speaker B: The Holiday Hangover. So how do we survive the New Year, Connor? Well, here we are, officially 2026. And the pine needles are hiding all throughout the house.
[00:00:55] Speaker A: Amen to that. I'll be finding them up through, like, June, probably. Yes, yes.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: And hopefully all the leftovers are gone and, you know, the best of 2025 plateless is. Is done. But what happens? What are we hit with? You know, there's this glare, this blue light that is shining upon us. And what could that be? Our bank gaps.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: Amen.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: So in January, we always go through an anxiety audit.
And what does that anxiety audit brings? It brings us looking at our bank statement, wondering, what did I spend my money on during December?
[00:01:34] Speaker A: Amen to that. There's this song my girlfriend showed me. It's called the 12 pains of Christmas, not the 12 days of Christmas and 12 pains, and instead of five golden rings, it's five months of bills.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Oh, I like that. You need to share that with me. She sounds as creative as you are.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: She found the song. It's not hers, but it's fantastic, though. It's a good song. I'll have to share it with you.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: Yes, please. Definitely.
So during this time, anxiety creeps in and our brain starts telling us, you know, why did I buy that extra gift for my cousin or for so and so? And what do we do with that? You know, we start to think, now I'm going to lose the house. I am going to, you know, not be able to pay my mortgage. I'm not going to be able to pay all these bills that I accumulated during December. And of course, this is our brain playing all this trick, sending all these false messages.
And how do we deal with that?
Have you ever been there?
[00:02:32] Speaker A: Every year. A little bit this year. So I feel you.
[00:02:36] Speaker B: Yes, yes. I know for me, many years ago, this would bring anxiety. Now I'm in a place in my life where I don't create the type of anxiety anymore.
We're very intentional with our spending and who we buy gifts for. But there's some people out there that they still feel that they have to buy, you know, for everybody. Their brother, their sister, their grown children, their grandchildren, their little ones. And they don't have the financial means to do that to the point when the new year comes, it causes so much anxiety that they panic, they can't breathe. They're trying to figure out, you know, how am I going to deal with all of this?
Well, the good thing is that there are a lot of companies, if you call them and you talk to them about your financial means, they're willing to work with you. You know, when. When I practice as. As a social worker, I used to deal with this a lot with a lot of my clients. And we would develop a plan, we would come up with small steps, how to help people get through this anxiety, which is very real and it's very normal.
So one of the things that I would advise my clients is the first thing you need to do is try to pay the highest bill, which a lot of the times it could be your mortgage, it could be your rent. Pay that first because it's so important to have a roof over your head. And the second thing is sit down, see how you can minimize paying those smaller bills that were created during the Christmas, what I call hangover, the holidays hangover, and is calling companies also and working out a payment plan with them.
A lot of the times, you know, companies are willing to work with you and allowed you to come in agreement with that plan.
So that's a way of relieving that particular anxiety.
The other thing that I would recommend to my clients is don't feel guilty. You know, if you felt that during the holidays you needed to buy presents for your loved ones, don't feel guilty after doing or taking that decision. Right. Making that decision.
That's another trick that our brain plays with us. It's that guilt. And we start judging ourselves.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: Amen to that. Absolutely.
[00:04:56] Speaker B: That is the worst when we start judging ourselves. Because a lot of the times, you know, we are our worst enemy.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: We.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: We're the ones pointing fingers at ourselves. Oh, we did wrong.
Take a. Take a breather. Don't judge yourself. You know, the next day, you can always do better. And how do you do better? It's looking at your. Your bank statement, trying to figure out, coming up with that plan without feeling all this guilt.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: You know, if I could interject real quick, talking about that guilt and everything, one of the things that always gets to me is not so much what I'm spending On the presence. But it's the expenses that pop up that the. The unexpected ones, you know, for instance, travel plans when they can get screwed up, something like that. Or for instance, I was just recently snowed in, I was out of town and there was bad ice on the road. I had to get a hotel somewhere. I wasn't expecting to pay for that. You know, that's something that came up out of the blue. And I feel like a lot of people with their budgets during the holidays. And even when you think you're being so responsible and putting everything into its own little niche, there's always those one or two things that pop up that you're not expecting. And then it's like, how am I. You're pulling your hair. I was like, how am I going to be able to deal with this? And you're right. You know, the payment plans, working through it, you know, it's not going to be overnight. Some of the things I know, a number of things I'm trying to pay off, I'll be paid off by February. And that feels pretty good in my boat. But that's what works for my financial schedule as of now. And I just got to breathe and be like, connor, it's fine. Nobody's going to bang down your door and take you out or anything like that. You're in a good place. Sure, it can't be paid off this second, but you have a plan to get it down road later because all these unexpected things came up. So those are the things that come up when I have guilt about it. That's what pops into my head. And that's what I was thinking when you're saying that. Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to offer that.
[00:06:47] Speaker B: Thank you for offering that. And that is the unexpected little things that come up, right, that create even more anxiety because you have come up with a budget and you have a plan and then that throws you off. And when you're thrown off, your. Your anxiety, your guilt, and you don't know how to deal with that. But the best thing to do is take a breather and figure it out.
Because like you said, nobody is going to, you know. Well, a lot of people think, yes, people are going to come and knock on my door or people are going to, you know, reprocess my car or whatever it is. These things do happen and they are real.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: Oh, very much so.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: But in the end, we need to slow down, breathe, come up with a plan, like you said, paying it off as much as you can, a little bit at a Time, instead of allowing this big budget or. Or debt bring us down. Because the most important thing, and as we, you know, are in 2026, is it's our health. And not just our physical health, but our mental health. And when we are in control of our mental health and we can create certain emotions for us to recognize that we need to calm down our anxiety.
It is so much better than us being pulled down by that negative aspect of guilt, by that negative aspect of, you know, the work. It's so heavy. The world feels so heavy on my shoulders.
And a lot of the times, just as we are our worst enemy, we also need to be our best friend, and we need to figure out ways how to help ourselves instead of just relying on. On the support of other people. Because a lot of the times, you know, we are sitting on our own. We are by ourselves. And even if we reach out to a friend to talk to them about our problems and our concerns, that person may not be available at the. That particular time.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: So physically, emotionally, mentally, any of those things. Without a doubt. Especially at the end of the year.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. So we need to find those tools that are able to regulate our emotions.
[00:08:56] Speaker A: Yeah. So, Yvette, that actually brings up something that I think a lot of people would be really interested to hear. When you've had those moments, because as you said, like, holiday time, right now you're doing good. But when you've had those holiday moments, what were the tools that you use specifically to. To kind of pause, take a breather, and kind of recalibrate yourself during those periods of your life?
[00:09:16] Speaker B: Good question. Well, one of the moments that. Or tools that I would use for myself is just like I finished saying, you know, taking that time to create a written plan take.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: I'm a very visual person, so creating a visual plan for me works so I can see what my bills were at the moment so I could break down on how to pay those bills.
Praying. I'm big with my faith, you know, praying not so much for God to. To pay my bills, but praying for him to give me the strength to feel that I can do this and, and to figure out what the plan will be moving forward.
Talking, you know, if that friend was available or my sister was available or my husband was available.
Finding that person that you trust to. To talk to them about perhaps the financial problem that you've created. Right. And being honest. Honest with yourself and being honest with that person.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Honesty is key. Without a doubt.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Honesty is key. And a lot of the times when with certain behavior, we need to be accountable for our own behavior.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Yeah, very much so. I feel like we lie to ourselves. Just like, as you said, we can be our own worst enemy. We almost kind of trick ourselves into a reality that's kind of warped and to the worst case scenarios, hence why we are our own worst enemies. If we were talking to a friend or a loved one, would we always be jumping to those worst case scenarios? More than likely not. So, yeah, just giving ourselves that kind of.
Just that space and that leniency.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: Yes, that Permission.
[00:10:48] Speaker A: Permission.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: The permission. The permission to feel those raw emotions, whether it is, you know, anger towards ourselves. Because a lot of the time also I was angry at myself and say, you know, why did you do that? Without thinking.
So the permission to feel those feelings, Anger, the sadness, the.
And to know that it was okay, you know, okay, I put myself in this situation. Now I need to come up with a plan to get myself out of that situation.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: And that's so huge, especially around the holidays. Holidays and post holidays, because everybody's wanting to be jolly and happy and all that. So I feel like the holidays are the time where people suppress their emotions more than anything. It's like, it's supposed to be bright. It's supposed to be this. I can't feel this way. It's like.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: No.
[00:11:27] Speaker A: This time of year is often the time where all those emotions come up to the surface. Allow that.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. And sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel a certain way because of fear. What are we going to find, you know, if we allow ourselves to feel a certain way, what's at that end of that emotion?
[00:11:46] Speaker A: Mm. So, yeah, and that's scary, too. That's scary. Is like, what's. Because there's a lot of comfort in the discomfort.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:11:54] Speaker A: A lot of the time where, sure, it may not be a great situation that we might find ourselves in sometimes, but it's familiar. And because it's familiar, we're not. People aren't always ready to take that next step on the sense of growth. You know, it's just like the saying. It's like you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a drink. You know, it's. It's 100% that you got to be ready. You got to be open and accepting of what's that next step, that next movement on your journey.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. And pivoting sometimes, you know, is the best thing to do. But sometimes people don't allow themselves to pivot.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: Yep. I was actually just talking about pivoting on Walsh Wednesday with a buddy of mine, so.
[00:12:33] Speaker B: Look at that.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: So it's actually. It's all coming out this week. This week is a week of pivoting. So there you go.
[00:12:38] Speaker B: There you go. There you go. Well, to that note, we're going to end our show today. It's a short segment because there's more to talk about, you know, the financial audit and the anxiety that comes along after the holidays.
So thank you so much, Connor, for always being there for me and looking forward to 2026.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. We got a lot of cool things planned. We're going to be doing, like, these mini episodes, some mini segments coming along, and we're going to be planning some other stuff. So, yeah, no, 2026 should be a lot of fun, kind of changing it up a little bit and staying fresh. And of course, Yvette, you're. You're down in Florida, so we're making do with that right now. But once you're back, we're excited to have you here in the studio again.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: Absolutely. Well, I am looking forward to being back, but at the same time, I am enjoying my time here in Florida.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: Enjoy the warmth. Enjoy it while you got it.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: Absolutely. I know I talk to my mom and my sister every day, and they're like, oh, we're so jealous. And I'm like, come, come. Come spend some time with me.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Yep, absolutely.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: All right, Connor, have a great end of your week.
[00:13:39] Speaker A: You as well. Absolutely.
[00:13:41] Speaker B: All right, bye.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: This podcast is brought to you by MHA of Dutchess county and produced by CMJW Entertainment. Thank you once again to this episode's sponsor, Levia medspa.
